Enhle Mbali Mlothswa reflects on motherhood, marriage and reclaiming her identity

In a heartfelt interview with Relebogile Mabotja on Radio 702, actress and fashion designer Enhle Mbali Mlothswa shared insights about her life experiences surrounding motherhood, marriage and her career.

As a prominent public figure, her journey has been both rewarding and complex, highlighting the nuances of being a single mother while navigating personal and professional landscapes.

Mlothswa candidly discussed the critical lessons she has learnt throughout her motherhood journey, revealing a shift in her approach over the years.

“I learnt to be stern. I was too sweet. I let everything happen. I was kind and nice. And I think I’ve learnt that there’s a huge difference between kindness and niceness,” she explained, emphasising the importance of establishing firm boundaries with her children.

With her refreshing honesty, she reflects on how her children have taught her the value of being kind yet firm.

As a single parent, her perspective is shaped significantly by her upbringing. “I didn't realise I was raised by a single parent until I started to go to different people's homes. And it was pretty balanced. The women in my family are pretty strong,” she shared.

Despite the challenges that often accompany single parenthood, she doesn't see it not as an overwhelming burden.

“Being a single mother now is not too hard. I was a married single woman as well. The shift to single parenthood was just merely financial,” she noted, shedding light on the financial complexities that can accompany such life transitions.

Opening up about her marriage to DJ Black Coffee, Mlothswa acknowledged that their shared status often left her alone with their children.

“Because of that, I've found myself being the one who is the foundation and the walls of the home,” she said.

Reflecting on her decision to marry at the age of 21, she conveyed how unprepared she felt for the realities of being in a relationship that played out so much in the public eye.

“I was married at 21. I was a baby. And I thought I had everything together, right?” she admitted.

“Once you learn that you're in the lesson already, you have the weapons and tools you need for that page in your life.”

She highlighted the absence of a clear example of love in her upbringing, indicating that she had to carve out her own understanding of what love and partnership meant.

This lends a profound depth to her reflections on self-identity amid marriage: “I didn't have an example of love but I knew whatever it meant, I had to create it myself.”

Her decision to step back from her career in order to nurture her family was one she made intentionally, albeit reluctantly.

“A lot of people need to understand that when I was married, I wasn't married to Black Coffee; I was married to Nkosinathi Innocent Maphumulo,” she emphasised.

Recognising their mutual journey of growth, she acknowledged that sometimes, such growth can lead individuals on diverging paths.

Mlothswa wisely advised the younger generations on marriage, suggesting, “Get married when you are older, wiser, smarter and have accumulated your own.”

This advice comes with the understanding that both partners must have their own identities, ensuring that their union is built on mutual strength and shared values.

She also reinforced her identity outside of her former marriage, saying, “I’ve been acting since I was 16... I was building a beautiful career and I had a vision.”

Her powerful story is one of resilience, evolution and the reclaiming of one’s narrative after being immersed in a shared life.