Given months to live, he decided to volunteer

Kyle Melnick

After learning in January that his prostate cancer had become terminal, Doug Ruch returned to his San Antonio apartment and reflected on one of his biggest regrets: Being too focused on himself, not giving enough to others.

With about 12 to 18 months to live, Ruch, 55, considered helping Hurricane Helene victims in North Carolina or wildfire victims in the Los Angeles area. But that wasn’t enough, he said, because he wanted to reach residents in all 50 states and D.C.

He had spent most of his savings on his cancer treatment, so he decided he would launch a fundraiser and hope others would help him achieve his dying wish: volunteering in every state.

Ruch received enough money to start his journey, so he packed all his belongings into his 2017 Chevrolet Malibu last month and headed north. He has since volunteered at food pantries, food banks, soup kitchens, senior centers, hospitality houses and other charity organizations in almost a dozen states and is now driving southeast from Seattle.

He said he hopes to raise at least $42 000 and reach every state by the fall. Getting attention for it is slightly uncomfortable, he said.

“I don’t want to be some pseudo celebrity, because I’m not,” Ruch said. “I’m just a guy that needed to balance the scales and do some good in his life.”

A terminal diagnosis, he said, can put life into perspective quickly. But his volunteering is not all selfless. Studies have shown that people who volunteer get a boost of self-esteem, feel more connected to other people and experience less depression.

Ruch, who had not volunteered much before this year, said he has been battling prostate cancer since May 2021 and twice underwent external beam radiation therapy, spending about $80 000 on treatment. In late January, Ruch said scans showed his cancer, now Stage 4, had spread to his liver and a bone in his right leg.

He said his doctor presented him with two options: Undergo chemotherapy and possibly live for about two years, or eschew treatment and die within about 18 months.

For the following few days, Ruch, who’s single, reflected on his life: what he felt he did right and wrong, what he could’ve done better and what he felt he should’ve spent more time doing - or less time doing, such as working.

He wanted to try to improve other people’s lives in every state, he said, so he decided against continuing treatment and quit his job in the rooftop solar industry.

He jotted down his thoughts in a notebook to form a plan. He asked himself what he was doing. “Serving,” he wrote. Then he asked himself why he was doing it. “Dying,” he wrote.

That’s when Ruch’s idea came together. He could start a project called Dying to Serve - he solidified the name after seeing an available domain name for the phrase on GoDaddy - and hope others would support him. He identified an efficient cross-country driving route on Google Maps.

He started a GoFundMe in February that he shared on social media.

“Anything you can spare would be greatly appreciated and used to fund my travel, housing, volunteer efforts and medical necessities to keep me going as long as possible,” he wrote.

He added that he spent his life savings fighting his cancer “due to the broken United States health care system.”

As his fundraiser spread on social media and raised thousands of dollars, Ruch created a graphic detailing his mock schedule, which looked similar to a sports team’s schedule announcement. He signed up for shifts through JustServe, VolunteerMatch and other organizations that share volunteering opportunities.

He moved out of his apartment last month and stuffed his red Malibu, which he nicknamed the Flash, with his belongings - clothes, three suitcases, two backpacks, his laptop, blankets, pillows, a massage gun to soothe his leg pains, energy drinks made with adaptogens and even a printer, in case he needed it.

His first stop was a Dallas food pantry on March 17, when he sorted, packaged and distributed food. From there, he went to Norman, Oklahoma; Wichita; Pueblo, Colorado; Santa Fe, New Mexico; Phoenix; Las Vegas; Southern and Northern California; Lake Oswego, Oregon; and Seattle. He’ll visit Meridian, Idaho, and Salt Lake City this week.

Ruch has driven more than 6 500 kilometers, he said, but his cancer forces him to stop to relieve himself about every hour. He has been sleeping at hotels and Airbnbs, keeping each stay around $100.

He was exhausted after initially scheduling volunteer shifts every day or so, and he’s now trying to complete one shift roughly every three days. He’s taking longer, scenic driving routes, and he’s scheduling other activities he enjoys - like attending a Seattle Mariners home game Wednesday.

Regardless of his schedule, Ruch said he wakes up on days he volunteers “so happy” and feels like he was “shot out of a cannon.” His shifts are usually between two and four hours long.

Still, Ruch said he sometimes has doubts about his project on days he doesn’t volunteer, wondering whether he’ll stay healthy, whether he’ll raise enough money and whether his car will keep functioning.

He has accepted help along the way, receiving discounts at hotels, Airbnbs, restaurants and car maintenance shops after sharing his story. A man in Fresno, California, who saw Ruch’s online fundraiser bought him lunch and gave him $100, Ruch said. Ruch has raised more than $24 000.

As Ruch’s project has received more publicity in the past few weeks, a handful of people have volunteered alongside him. He has had notoriety at some organizations where he volunteers, he said, but he tries to deflect the attention.

Ruch plans his travels a few weeks in advance, and he said he might reach the East Coast around June. He said he’ll fly to Alaska and Hawaii.

“I need to finish this,” Ruch said.

If he’s healthy after visiting every state, he said he’ll keep volunteering. Ruch hopes his project will spark a volunteer movement that’ll continue after he dies.

“If I can inspire hundreds or thousands of people nationwide to volunteer, even if it’s three or four hours a month,” Ruch said, “then I can die happy.”