The ‘Papa do my hair’ initiative is a fun and entertaining way to engage dads in conversations about why fathers matter in their children’s lives. Photographer-Tracey Adams.
Johannesburg - A hair salon is usually off-limits to men, and this often extends to hair day at home.
But a group of fathers have teamed up in a bid to shatter stereotypes and show up for their daughters while also learning how to style up.
At the helm of this is Mahlatse Mashua, dad to three girls and a Heartlines Fathers Matter Ambassador. The idea stemmed from an occasion when Mashua’s wife was away while he remained at home to care for his daughters.
One morning his 9-year-old daughter came to him and said, “Daddy, please do my hair”, and he realised he didn’t have a clue what to do. From there came the idea for ‘Papa do my hair.’
“Sometimes, as fathers, we tend to be encouraged to do the bare minimum. That's the old story, though,” said Mashua. “The new story would be that we consider fathering a much bigger category, not just ‘I'm the helper’. It opens up amazing opportunities to play an important role in your baby's life.”
Mashua and a few friends recently set up a salon-for-the-day at his home in Vredehoek, Cape Town. They’ve invited a professional stylist to teach them some essential hair basics. This included knowing the difference between braids, an up-style, an afro and twists, as well as how to wash and care for their daughter’s hair.
The issue of hair among girls often represents and relates to other issues: identity, their concept of beauty, bullying, stereotypes, values, role models and self-esteem.
And the ‘Papa do my hair’ initiative is a fun and entertaining way to engage dads in conversations about why fathers matter in their children’s lives, even in areas that are traditionally “mom roles”. At the same time, the initiative aims to teach fathers a valuable skill through learning more about their child’s hair.
“You are not just helping; this is what you do. This is your responsibility. It’s a manly thing,” adds Mashua.
The topic of fatherhood is an emotive one for many South Africans. Studies show that there are numerous benefits – for children, mothers and fathers themselves – when fathers are positively involved in the life of a child.
Positive father involvement has also proven to cause a decline in gender-based violence, substance abuse, violence and a number of health and psychological risks posed to children. While the narrative is already shifting, much remains to be done.
Heartlines wants to inspire and encourage men – and society at large – to consider how important it is for fathers to be a positive influence in children’s lives.
Through their 6 Fathers Matter Films, supporting resources and the broader campaign, they aim to remind us of this.
If this inspired you, here are some of Heartlines’ thoughts to get you started:
Be deliberate. Affirm your daughter and embrace the beauty and complexity of all that she is.
Be practical. Look for opportunities to demonstrate love and set a positive example of empathy and involvement.
Be willing to learn. Get out of your comfort zone and master new skills. Don’t let preconceived ideas about men’s traditional roles stop you from being creative in exploring ways to build deeper connections.
Be in community. Share your experience with other fathers so that you can encourage, support and challenge one another.
Watch Papa do my hair film here.
To get involved in reshaping the narrative about South African fathers, visit the Fathers Matter website for more information: www.fathersmatter.org.za.
