By Gillian Schutte

In the December bustle of a scenic nature estate, where holidaymakers and owners converge in shared spaces, a black businessman and father who regularly takes his children to the estate pools found himself reflecting on a moment that carried unexpected weight. As he sat by the pool, a white family walked past without greeting him or his children. The absence of acknowledgment struck him as a racial sleight, prompting him to raise the issue with the estate’s trustees.

At first glance, the incident might seem inconsequential—people fail to greet each other all the time, particularly in busy spaces. But in South Africa, where the echoes of systemic racism and exclusion linger, even small interactions like this can feel fraught with deeper significance. The businessman, interpreting the moment through his own lived experiences, felt unseen and unacknowledged in a way that seemed tied to his race. Yet, the question remains: is this act, or omission, definitively an instance of racism, or is it simply unknowable?

An Act Open to Interpretation

It is impossible to definitively assign intent to the white family’s behaviour. The act of not greeting is inherently ambiguous. They might have been preoccupied, walking in a “dwaal”, their attention scattered by the demands of the moment—perhaps searching for a place to sit, ensuring their children didn’t dash into the pool, or caught up in a conversation. Greeting in such a context often happens instinctively, only when eyes meet or there is an opening for interaction. To actively seek out acknowledgment from someone who is focused elsewhere can feel insistent, even unsettling.

There are cultural factors at play as well. In many African traditions, greetings are central to social interaction, a way to affirm shared humanity. In contrast, some cultural norms do not emphasise greeting strangers in passing. For many, the act of greeting strangers depends on the circumstances—an unspoken negotiation of eye contact, mood, and proximity. In such fleeting moments, the absence of a greeting is rarely deliberate and often unremarkable.

And yet, it is also possible that unconscious bias influenced the family’s actions. South Africa’s history of racial exclusion still colours interactions in shared spaces, particularly where predominantly white environments can leave black individuals feeling invisible or unwelcome. Whether or not this bias played a role here remains speculative. Without further context or clear evidence, the act of not greeting resists definitive labelling as racism.

The Legal Framework: Greeting Is Not a Legal Obligation

While the businessman’s feelings of exclusion are valid and deserve recognition, the act itself does not breach any legal or governance frameworks. South Africa’s Constitution protects against racial discrimination under Section 9, but to prove a violation, there must be clear evidence of discriminatory intent or systemic impact. An unreciprocated greeting in a shared space lacks both.

In the context of the nature estate, shared spaces are governed by the Sectional Titles Schemes Management Act, which empowers trustees to enforce Conduct Rules that cover practical concerns like noise, music, and maintenance. However, these rules do not—and cannot—extend to mandating social behaviours such as greeting. Trustees are responsible for maintaining harmony, but they lack the authority to adjudicate personal etiquette or interpret cultural norms.

This incident also does not meet the criteria for a criminal offence or human rights violation. Under South African law, racism requires a demonstrable link to systemic exclusion or prejudicial behaviour, neither of which is evident in this scenario. Greeting, or the lack thereof, is a matter of social practice rather than legal obligation.

Perception and Its Weight

The businessman’s perception of the encounter, however, is not trivial. His feelings reflect a broader reality for Black South Africans who have often been excluded or made to feel invisible in spaces dominated by whiteness. For him, the absence of a greeting may symbolise a larger pattern of marginalisation, even if this particular instance is not rooted in explicit bias.

At the same time, it is essential to approach such moments with balance. The perceived slight could stem from many benign reasons, and it is important not to over-racialise an ambiguous act. Critical race theory reminds us to focus on systemic inequities rather than individual interactions, particularly when intent cannot be clearly determined. To frame every perceived slight as racism risks diluting the deeper and more urgent conversations about structural inequality.

Finding Balance in Shared Spaces

The incident raises broader questions about how communities navigate shared spaces, particularly in environments like nature estates, where owners and holidaymakers with diverse backgrounds converge. Trustees can encourage a culture of mutual respect and inclusivity, but they cannot enforce social practices like greeting. More importantly, fostering understanding among residents requires dialogue and empathy, recognising that such interactions are often shaped by context, distraction, and individual habits.

As the estate’s pool fills with families during the holiday season, perhaps the lesson lies in finding balance. While it is important to create spaces where everyone feels seen and valued, it is equally important to recognise the limits of our interpretations. Sometimes a passing silence is just that—a moment shaped by busyness, distraction, or social dynamics, rather than hostility or exclusion.

A Closing Reflection

In a country still grappling with its divided past, even small gestures like a greeting can take on symbolic weight. For the businessman, the experience of being passed by without acknowledgment was significant, tied to the broader emotional realities of living in a society where racial dynamics remain unresolved. For the white family, their actions—or lack thereof—might have been entirely neutral, shaped by the immediate demands of the moment. Or it might have an act of unconscious bias.

This is the complexity of shared spaces. Greeting is not a legal obligation, but, when eyes meet it is a small act of connection, a way to affirm another’s presence and belonging.

* Gillian Schutte is a film-maker, and a well-known social justice and race-justice activist and public intellectual. Follow Gillian on X - @GillianSchutte1 and on Facebook - Gillian Schutte.

** The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IOL or Independent Media.

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When Silence Speaks: Reflections on Race, Etiquette, and Shared Spaces